KFC Announces New Console, Complete With ‘Chicken Chamber’, Cos Anything Can Happen In 2020
WINNER, WINNER, FRIED CHICKEN DINNER!
We were planning on taking a short break on articles over the holiday period but… I need to talk about the Colonel’s Kentucky-fucking chicken console!
In partnership with Cooler Master, fast-food behemoths KFC has aimed directly at the hearts of Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo (not with cholesterol, this time), unleashing the KFConsole, a VR-ready high-end gaming PC capable of 4K/240fps gaming. Oh, it also has an in-built chicken-warmer. That’s not a euphemism, either. This thing has a patented ‘Chicken Chamber’ which will keep your deep-fried poultry at the optimum temperature for mid-game snacking.
Ring the bells! The console wars are over, baby! We have a finger-lickin’ winner!
The new system will come with an Intel Nuc 9 CPU, Seagate BarraCuda 1TB SSD and ‘a first of its kind hot-swappable GPU slot’. The write-up mentions ‘ray-tracing’ quite a few times, so it would be safe to assume that the KFConsole will come with an Nvidia GPU. All of the hardware will be housed in quite a unique custom Cooler Master NC100 chassis, with the design ‘utilising the systems natural heat and airflow system’ to direct heat to where you need it most – your tender Original Recipe!
“Moving forward from our initial teaser campaign earlier this year, we’re so pleased to finally give the fans exactly what they wanted; making the KFConsole a reality,” said KFC PR boss Mark Cheevers. “We all know the console war is vicious, but we’re very confident in the KFConsole as our flagship entry. This machine is capable of running games at top-level specs, all on top of keeping your meal warm for you to enjoy during your gaming experience… what’s not to like? If Sony or Microsoft want any tips on how to engineer a chicken chamber for their efforts next time, they’d be welcome to get in touch.”
Bad luck for all those who recently purchased an Xbox Series X or PlayStation 5 with both of these consoles now seemingly obsolete. The future is here, and the future is greasy.